Tomorrow I turn 40. Forty!
I know many of my readers have already reached or long surpassed that milestone.
However, 40 feels fantastic and momentous to me because I didn’t know if I would make it this far. Those decades of depression sometimes made it seem, moment to moment and in the aggregate, as if 40 was impossible.
What keeps me going? An overdeveloped sense of responsibility to colleagues and a desire not to disappoint family and friends. I get out of bed on even the worst mornings because a stronger voice than the depression tells me I must.
On rare occasions I get to experience real joy. I had a reminder this past weekend that I can still feel the warm glow of happiness and delight.
Fang managed to throw a surprise party without me getting even a whiff of it beforehand. Not only did he craft a small but perfect guest list—he persuaded one of my best friends from high school, someone I hadn’t seen for years, to fly in with his wife for the occasion. And the friend who hosted it pulled off, as usual, a Pinterest-worthy event. And thanks to the boy, even the flavors of the ice cream cake were spot on.
All through the evening, people from different walks of my life commented on what an amazing circle of friends I have.
And it’s true.
I feel blessed. Truly, truly blessed.
Thanks to everyone who showed up to mark the occasion, and to those who were there in spirit.
Here’s to the next 40.
(photos by Fang)